Saturday, January 26, 2002 ::: things tha thappened last nite 1. saw LOTR good moovie
2. ate lots of popcorn, full
3. had dinner @ marche
4. the dood walking around with wine offered me some
5. ate pizza with chopsticks
Friday, January 25, 2002 ::: so I dropped off aaron... and his friends at the shell station near york mills station. tomorrow is pa day for which I am ever grateful. they wen't skiing in tremblant. I wait for the day when I have a group of friends who actually do things like that, I think that's cool. going away for the weekend for some skiing and fun. they offered me a spot, but I got a chem test monday and such. btw they get back sunday night round 11... anyhoo story of my life, sitting and helping while others are having fun.
Wednesday, January 23, 2002 ::: though my actual troubles are not solved.... the second best thing I could think of happened for me today, I'm the newest admin on Ht's Condemless Brothel Counter-Strike Server. okay stop laughing. it does mean a lot fo ppl who play.
I am fiercely protective of my friends and loved ones, and unforgiving of any who would hurt them. Speed and foresight are my strengths, at the cost of a little clumsiness. I'm most comfortable with a few friends, but sometimes particularly enjoy spending time in larger groups. What Video Game Character Are You?
but if i wasn't this i'd be a
I am a Base-defender.
What's mine is mine, and I make sure everyone knows it. Nobody invades my space without permission - I'd destroy everything I own before letting someone take it from me. I tend to be forward-facing, which is both a strength and a weakness. What Video Game Character Are You?
Monday, January 21, 2002 :::
so I wanna actually think through my problems and one thing I've thought about is whether I act out of fear, bitterness or intellect. now I'm thinking is the second one. decisions are tough and I usually can't stick to ones like these, specially not with my bro, and from what I've learned, if I don't stick to it, it just ends up happening over and over, stoopid. I guess I just expect too much of ppl and its not fair for them. haha its about time I stuck with decisions
I wanted to do my english isu proposal but I couldn't really start. so I sit here quite unproductively, wanting to go play but knowing that I won't be able to stop for at least a few hours, so I decide to write here for a few minutes. I'm tired... really tired.
I've got to stop writing blogs before I go to sleep, that's when I'm craziest. I think its more bouts of anger. I'm such a child, I need attention and I guess this is where I get my attention. oh well... gotta write some english ISU proposal today... stuff to do, I guess I'll go get dressed.
rant maybe in your mind, everything's fine, but it's not. if one were to take a good look at it everything's changed. I guess it would be easier to think that things are cool and likely you have no clue what the fuck is going through my mind. for all you know, I'm peachy. so anyway I'd like to take this time just to reflect a bit on my life this past year. one way I've become accustomed to thinking is in terms of net, for lack of better words, displacement. my life has going up and down, and I'm left here about where I was a year ago, except I can drive, which is quite nice. but because of these ups and downs I've learned a few things, and mind you, its pretty much one thing. toward's others my attitude is fine, but alone I'm quite angry. why? I'm probably angry at myself for the stupid way I was. how much better I could have been. I really question why I did things the way I did. why I bothered. I'm tired of being nice, considerate, I'd really like to have something go my way, that has not happened in the longest time. apparently tickets to hk are 1200 for two (600 each) right now, and probably till march break. so I might move my trip up. but I think that a month in the summer will give me more time to grow, and return to school different. I mean I have no clue how I'm going to survive next year. there will be nobody, even less than now, which is really fucked. I mean I had no idea how I'd survive this year because of people, and I've managed to fix that by adding 2+ hours of cs a day. next year scares me. now scares me. I'd like just a little bit of security.
