Friday, February 22, 2002 ::: so I wonder... I've always loved to wonder, and I find myself doing that a lot, even now. mostly it will be about small things, what if my hair were straight, or if I had super powers. other times it will be along the lines of what if I never met her, or wasn't his friend. or my favourite what if the british never handed back hk, or if never had it in the first place. the former would mean many things, much fun to say the least, the latter involves lost of communism and me working in a rice field. then I think about how for one good thing to happen, the events have to be so perfect, that if some seemingly small detail were changed, it probably wouldn't have happened. I guess that's why so many bad things happen. any small thing can ruin a good thing. so lan party tomorrow, let's hope that's a good thing.
*sigh* God. I really don't want to put up with it. I mean being swept aside was one thing, but I's rather just stay there so I can move on. no one understands what I just wrote, so please don't think you do and jump to stupid conclusions, because it probably doesn't mean you or who you think it means. so today I wasn't anymore tired than usual even though. I wish I could tell people how I felt and be completely unaffected by how they would react to my comments. but I really do care which is why I'd rather deal with stuff myself unless its totally necessary. so I sit here acting nice, while all the while I wish I was somewhere else enjoying myself.
